I was reminded of this topic just the other day when a bride was struggling with the issue: shoes! I have had a complicated relationship with shoes my entire life. I love them, but my feet do not.
I recall a trip when I took a new pair of so-called comfort shoes. I was looking forward to being able to walk through the lovely small towns of Italy in great comfort. That turned out not to be the case. The lesson I keep learning over and over is to bring a pair of favorite and well-worn shoes. Shoes that are broken in. Shoes that I have history with. Shoes I know I love and that love me back.
I believe passionately that ceremony matters and writing about the meaning and depth of a rite-of-passage is important. I also know that if you are not comfortable during the ceremony, you will not fully take it in. I have officiated around 1,000 (yes, one thousand) weddings at this point, and too often I’ve seen a bride, and occasionally a groom, struggling with their shoes.
I’m amazed that a woman would buy a pair of high heels when she normally does not wear heels. I’m amazed that men rent stiff shiny shoes, shoes they have never worn before, and expect to dance the night away in them. I’m amazed that anyone will buy a gorgeous pair of shoes for their ‘big day’ and not wear them around the house for a while…wait, isn’t that what I did? So, yes, today’s column may sound trite but believe me it is not. I spend a lot of time speaking with couples about the importance of a wedding ceremony. But as they say “the devil is in the detail
s,” and you don’t want that devil dogging you during such an important time in your life.
Other small things that may become large things, those devilish details, are dresses that are too long and cause you to trip or to constantly be aware of so you will not trip. Tip: try it on with those shoes you are breaking in.
Another dress disaster is not being able to use the toilet by yourself because your dress is too unwieldy. Tip: get a Bridal Buddy. Other dress issues include strapless dresses that beg to be hiked up constantly. Dresses you cannot comfortably walk it (may apply to the ‘mermaid’ style gown). And dresses that require uncomfortable under garments.
Split seams in a dress or suit can occur. Be sure to have an emergency kit that includes needle and thread, safety pins and some band aids and aspirin. You don’t have to go crazy with this – but it is good to pack a few such things.
Other problematic issues include bouquets that are too heavy to hold, or boutonnieres that ruin a vest or jacket or won’t stay upright. Tip: get one with the magnet style attachment instead of traditional pins.
And my biggest pet peeve – people playing with their phones and cameras during the ceremony. Signage is not enough, trust me on this. Have your officiant or DJ announce before the ceremony begins a gentle reminder to put away your devices. It’s just rude to play with your phone during a wedding ceremony. If you have hired (or designated) a photographer, let them take care of that. Everyone else should be paying attention not taking pictures.
Ok, that’s my rant for today. I know there are many more details that can trip you up, even literally. I’ve heard the devil wears Prada, but the devil also needs shoes to go with it.