How to Have a Halloween Wedding

{You can see the column in the paper HERE}

I love Halloween, it brings out the kid in me. I always loved playing dress up. I love the freedom it gives me to be silly, a little (extra?) weird, and to try on a different persona. I also like candy.

Autumn is a great theme in itself with all the pumpkins, gourds and leaves, straw bales, pots of mums, all the seasonal décor – but taking it a step further for Halloween isn’t for everyone.

However, if a couple is the type that loves Halloween, I support them completely in embracing the scary side for their wedding. And while everything about a wedding is for real, and the honesty and meaning of a marriage commitment is something very serious, it’s also a day of celebration and fun, and Halloween is certainly fun, at least to some of us.

Consider the idea of wearing masks – and then unmasking. It can represent how we show our truest selves to the person we love. When we have an honest relationship with someone, they see us unmasked and know our deepest parts, and love us, flaws and all.

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Candy comes to mind and having a candy ‘bar’ or buffet readily references trick-or-treating, and in my opinion, is a must for any Halloween wedding.

I once created a ritual using candy that speaks to the same symbolism as masks. The gave each other a special handcrafted, wrapped piece of chocolate with a center filling, and proceeded to unwrap it, as I spoke to the idea of opening oneself to the other. Then tasting it: first is the initial taste - the chocolate, a wonderful flavor of course, but then there is more - the surprise and wonder of the discovering another flavor within. I’m sure you understand this metaphor. It was a fun, meaningful and delicious ritual.

You can easily deck out the look of your wedding in Halloween fantasy, but would you wear a costume to get married? I don’t necessarily recommend it, but you might want to change into one after the ceremony, and for that matter, why not have your reception be a costume party? It doesn’t have to be child-like, a Halloween wedding can be sophisticated if done right.

I’ve seen one or two black wedding gowns and that is a perfect example of Halloween elegance. Or just add some small detail that hints at the holiday.

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There is plenty of romance in Halloween – just look to books and movies for inspiration. 
In Bram Stoker's Dracula, Dracula asks: "Do you believe in destiny? That even the powers of time can be altered for a single purpose? That the luckiest man who walks on this earth is the one who finds true love?"

Finding a spooky location for your wedding is a little more difficult. I once officiated in a former jail. It was definitely a little weird! A Victorian mansion or rustic barn lends itself well, but with the right décor anything will work. 

For fun at the reception you might include a scavenger hunt, a costume contest, and having some sound effects and lighting tricks planned as well. A fake power-outage could be heart-pounding fun.

Finally, don’t miss the chance to play up the ‘til death do us part’ sentiment, along with phrases like ‘I love you to death,’ references to the Bride of Frankenstein, and arrive or leave the event in a hearse. Is that going too far?

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