Nothing brings people together more than these three things: birth, death and weddings.

In many ways all three are life-affirming, which may seem counter-intuitive for death – but funerals, being truly for the living, find people gathering who may not usually associate with one another.

Everyone, regardless of their beliefs, celebrates a birth in the family or community.

And of course – weddings. No matter how unlikely a couple may seem, if perhaps coming from different backgrounds or traditions, we gather for the ceremony and celebration to mark their commitment to one another and celebrate love, partnership and the possibilities of the future.

In these turbulent times it is good to remember that there are important things we do share.  These three life milestones are certainly some of them. We all have more in common than what seems to divide us. We all want safety, security, and to be loved.

My calling as a Humanist Celebrant helps me bring families together for just those reasons. A meaningful and honest ceremony can address the things we too often leave unspoken. We can heal.

I recently officiated a ceremony for a couple who were focused in their relationship on the Japanese concept ‘Kintsugi’ which means Golden Rejoining.

In literal practice it is the art of repairing broken pottery by mending the cracks or breaks using a special gold material to repair it. Rather than trying to hide the flaws, it highlights them, because in life sometimes the repairing is what matters the most. And herein lies the philosophy. We often focus on what is broken in our lives and relationships,  and our world - but we need to focus on how to repair it. And we cannot see clearly what is wrong until we open up the wound (break it open) to understand how to fix it.

Judaism has a similar philosophy – that of ‘Tikkum olam’ – which means ‘repair the world.’ This form of repair is done by acts of social responsibility. In fact, many religions and philosophies teach similar concepts.

I wonder if we can repair the breaks in our society.  How would that work? All I can do now is help in small ways, for those who come my way, looking for a service that celebrates the whole but might also repair what is broken.